Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Countdown is On

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion. - Thomas Paine

Namaste, fellow pilgrims.
I have come to love Paine's quote, and do my best to live it out.  As I look back on 2012, I recognize that I fell short of this goal.  At times I have made choices that did not honor who I am nor those close to me.  It has been a humbling year and a painful one, but also full of growth and continued self-discovery.    For how do we learn, if not by making mistakes?  
In life, the tests come first - the lessons follow.  

My lessons this year have provided me with  piercing insight into who I truly am, what is important to me, and what is required of me in order to continue moving in the direction I want to go.  I see that 2013 for me will be a year of letting go of the familiar and embracing the new.  Yes, I am scared; but I am also curious and optimistic.  Regardless of the outcome, stepping out into the unknown is essential for our growth.  I would rather try new things and fail than spend my life wondering. It's like there is a cosmic clock ticking, reminding me that there is a season to all things.  I don't recall hearing that clock before.  It gives me courage to truly pursue the life that I dream of living... right now. 

I have come to see this world as the Ultimate Schoolhouse, with my purpose simply to learn all that I can.  Lessons come through love and loss, failure and triumph.  Indeed, what appears at first to be the biggest mistake can lead to the greatest discovery!  Perspective is everything.  Do not get mired down by guilt or grief or anything else.  Learn your lesson and move on, applying what you have learned to future situations.

NEW JOB = Overwhelming, terrifying, frustrating, and eventually, pretty good. 
Lesson learned:  Don't give up too soon.
DREADLOCKS =  Now sporting shorter hair.  
Lesson learned:  We can't always have what we want right when we want it.
FIRST FESTIVAL ON MY OWN = Incredibly liberating. Going required all my courage, but I was successful in my endeavors and enjoyed myself very much.  
Lesson learned:  Don't let fear stop you.

There were other lessons along the way, some too personal to share here.  I give thanks for each one.

As we head boldly into 2013, a year of great spiritual transition for our planet, take a look at the list below (courtesy of King Solomon) and ask:  What time is it for you?

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 

Seek what good you can do, what joy you can bring, what peace you can find in 2013.  Know that you will experience both light and darkness, but it is your choice where you will dwell.

Wishing you every lesson required for your own growth and discovery,
Rev. Jan

Thursday, June 14, 2012


"Let go or be dragged."  ~ Zen proverb

My life has been a whirlwind over the last couple of months.  Change has been creeping in, flowing in, and dropping in.  There have been whispers and shouts, gentle hints and bricks aimed squarely at my head.  The above quote has been a great help to me in the midst of so much change, a reminder to be diligent in holding all things loosely, for nothing truly belongs to me. 

The very notion of change can be threatening, as we worry about the unknown.  When I was  ultra conservative in my religious views, I did not welcome change.  I felt safe within my walls.  It was Us versus Them, and anything that threatened my viewpoint definitely fell into the latter category!   Alas, whether we embrace it or fear it, change comes.  

Now that I am in my 40s, I tend to be much more philosophical about change.  It is necessary.  It keeps me growing.  It makes life more interesting.  Marriage stagnates without change - just like government, and even the environment.  No one welcomes the forest fire, but it is necessary, clearing out the dead debris in favor of new life. 

As with grief, there are definite periods we experience when we are in times of change.  According to Dr. Elizabeth Harper Neeld, there are 4 basic stages in "the Terrain of Tough Transitions."  
1.  RESPONDING - At this initial stage of change, our emotions are basically haywire, as our      assumptive world disappears.
2.  REVIEWING - In this stage we tend to ask questions; join community; deal with anger; imagine possibilities, and assert that something must be different.
3.  REORGANIZING - Having survived thus far, our new identity begins to emerge:  New thinking, new behaviors, and yes - even new problems.  When in the Reorganizing phase of transition, we retrieve threads of purpose from "before," while jettisoning the outdated.
4.  RENEWING -  At this stage we are living life in "the new normal."  We have achieved creative outcomes with new ideas and vantage points.  We are reaching hope, continuing on to faith, and even creating joy.

Just like the Stages of Grief, the Terrain of Tough Transitions is messy.   It overlaps and doubles back at times.  This is because humans are complex, and we experience change on many levels.  Our personality, how we were raised, and our personal world view are just a few of the things which may impact how we respond to the changes in our life, whether we choose them or they are thrust upon us.

My recent changes have been positive.  One was anticipated:  a happy move to a better neighborhood.  This was tiring, but relatively simple.  The next change, a job offer, came as a total surprise to me.  Unexpected shift, even when it is good, can take significant adjusting.  This will be a positive transition for me, with many rich opportunities and benefits.  I will be in a teaching/mentoring position, working directly with students, which I love to do.  

Lately I have been meditating on how I can be of greater help to more people, and in came this totally unsolicited job offer.  Something inside of me knows that the Universe itself has opened this doorway, and it is time for me to walk through.  It will be a huge adjustment to me and my family, going from having mom home all the time to suddenly gone 8 hours a day.  In fact, my kids are the only reason I have tossed and turned about the opportunity.  It is now time for them to learn about change, too; that it is inevitable, but how we frame it can make all the difference.  

I am excited about the lessons that will come with my new job.  Not the lessons that I will teach, but the lessons that I will learn.  And that, gentle reader, is what change is all about.  

"Not in their goals, but in their transitions, are people great."  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

I am indebted to Elizabeth Harper Neeld, PhD, for her tremendous book Tough Transitions:  Navigating Your Way Through Difficult Times.

Prayer in times of change:
As I breathe in the winds of change, I give thanks for the One who has sent the wind.  I affirm that the Universe is wise and benevolent, wanting only my Highest Good.  I receive my Highest Good, in whatever form it may take.  I know that growth is always positive, and I desire to help others in their growth even as I embrace my own.  I thank God for the opportunities that await me with this change, and release these words into the Universal Mind, knowing that All is Well.  And so it is. 

~ Rev. Jan

Friday, April 27, 2012


"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."  - John F. Kennedy
Many of you know that my spiritual background is that of a fundamentalist Christian, who literally believed every word of the Bible:  Every story, every event, every person listed in that Good Book.  However, I have undergone many paradigm shifts through the last years, and my beliefs have changed considerably.  

Before going any further, let me just say that I know many religious people who are extremely satisfied with their chosen beliefs, and whose lives exemplify love and service.  They are healthy individuals who eat the meat and spit out the bones of religion, rather than being choked by them.
As for me:
My concept of God has expanded from an anthropomorphic view.  I now see God in everyone, regardless of whether they have “invited” him in.  I believe in a Divine Consciousness; a cosmic, universal oneness.  I believe that those who have gone before us are still available to us, so that we can tap into their collective wisdom.  One of my favorite problem-solving meditations, in fact, has me seated at a table with admired souls from history (including my beloved grandparents), who all make themselves available to help me find a solution!  I believe that certain persons throughout history are true spiritual masters, having evolved to such an extent spiritually that they set the supreme example of love, compassion, and peace for the rest of us.

As for an afterlife, reincarnation makes the most sense to me.  When I read about out-of-body and life-after-death experiences, these seem to confirm reincarnation to me.   I also believe that part of what happens in the afterlife is based on what we expect to happen.  It makes sense to me that souls who have adhered strictly to a certain religion would congregate together in the afterlife.   I no longer believe in a literal hell where one is tormented and tortured eternally, with no hope of relief.  I believe that we view, experience, and judge our own actions once we leave this body, and that if more time is required to learn specific lessons, further events will be experienced until we evolve spiritually.   To me, this is much more in line with a philosophy of love than the notion that people will be eternally cast into a pit of darkness for simply failing to adhere to the “correct” set of beliefs.

My goal is to learn absolutely as much as I can during this lifetime.  I want to study and grow, exchange thoughts and views with other people.  I will never again allow any one person or group to dictate to me how I must live or what I must believe.  If I encounter philosophies in the future that make more sense to me than my current ones, I AM FREE TO CHANGE MY BELIEFS…. AND SO ARE YOU!

There is one person to whom and one person for whom you are completely responsible:  YOU.  What others think is best for you, what others think is "The Truth," and even what others want for you is irrelevant.   Everyone is molded and bound by something; the trick is not to allow anyone else’s baggage to bind YOU!    Have you ever wanted to _______?  Is it your secret passion to ________?  As a child, did you feel driven to ________?  Well today is your lucky day!  Because YOU are the one with the ambition and the power to make ________ a reality! 

I have found that The Big Three can be either incredibly beneficial or unbelievably harmful as we walk our road:  Faith, Family, and Finances.  These can either embolden us to live out our dreams, or trap us into a fearful, unsatisfying life.   
“My faith does not allow _____.”  
“My family would be horrified if I _____.”   
“I could never afford to _____.”   

Once you discover who is REALLY in charge, these excuses no longer hold water.  If your religion keeps you from living your dreams, it is time for a DIVORCE.  If your family’s love for you is dependent upon you believing a prescribed doctrine, you both need some shaking up.  And if your finances are currently too limiting to live your dream all at once, you do it the same way you would eat an elephant:  One bite at a time!  Start today.  There are always small steps you can take on the pathway to living your dream. 

SET YOURSELF FREE!   Drop limiting beliefs and limiting people.  Surround yourself with those who support you.  Only read, watch, and do what absolutely inspires you!  One day you will take your last breath.  Until then, I urge you to squeeze every bit of life from every minute you are given!  Don’t waste your valuable time trying to live up to anyone else’s expectations or beliefs.   Learn what it takes to make your own dreams a reality, and get on with it.  If no one else believes you can do it, I DO.  Send me a postcard when you get there.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Heresy or Enlightenment?

I drank the silence of God from a spring in the woods. - Georg Trakl

Namaste, fellow Soul Pilgrims.  Creation is breathing a sigh of relief, freed from the constraints of winter.  

As I am a big fan of springtime, it felt strange to awaken on Easter Sunday feeling blue. I recognized the feeling, as it was present to a lesser degree around Christmas.  Christmas and Easter are the two "holiest" days of Christendom, when even nominal believers make their way into the pews, usually under pressure of family.  This year I was not in their company, and it made me realize that there is loss that comes with liberation, and vice versa.

I recalled the tangible joy I had previously felt when celebrating Christmas and Easter in the company of others who venerated those days.  Easter was especially significant, and it was a very big deal to greet  the church family with the traditional Christian greeting:  "He (Jesus) is risen!", met with the joyous reply: "He is risen, indeed!" 

Those words were so precious to me throughout my life.  They encapsulated my raison d'etreI lived only to reflect God's glory and to draw others to Him - through my particular religion.  For me and others who shared my religious persuasion, life revolved around attending Sunday services, weekly Bible studies, spending time with Christian friends listening to Christian music, discussing Christian books (purchased from a Christian store, of course).   "Drawing others to Him" meant actively seeking out The Lost to convert from their heathen lifestyles. 

I had read many books on how to "witness" to people who were deluded into thinking that their own religion - the one they had either chosen or been raised with - was actually true.  I sincerely believed that I alone held the truth, and was charged with trying to "enlighten" others to the fact that they were believing a lie.  Forget the fact that they cherished their own religious traditions just as I did, taking solace and comfort from their own beliefs.  

The older I get, the more I realize that no one group or philosophy holds the key.  As Ram Dass, one of my favorite spiritual teachers, has said:  "We're all just walking each other home."  Whether our road is that of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or any other "ism," we are all living in borrowed vessels on borrowed time, until our return to Spirit - which is our natural state.  The religious or philosophical road we travel during our time here will ultimately lead to the same destination.

I understand if this bugs you and gets under your skin.  Pray for my soul if it pleases you.  However, a mind  expanded can never return to its previous dimensions.  While I do miss the feeling of belonging to a club with a special "members only" greeting, it is not enough for me to resume my seat in the pew as if nothing has changed.   I feel that, over the past few years, EVERYTHING has changed. 

I like the freedom that I now have to listen and think and judge for myself.  I like the openness and grace that I now naturally extend to others - not just to those who hold my own views.  A friend recently pointed out to me the irony that, once I left the Church, I became a lot more like Jesus.  

I celebrate being a part of the Universal Consciousness.  I recognize the many truths that are reflected by all members, and give thanks for the Masters who have gone before to show us True Love.  I acknowledge that we are all Soul Pilgrims, passing through this life, walking each other home.  May love, freedom, and grace be our companions along our chosen roads, and may we gain insight with every step.

Monday, March 12, 2012

On Loss

"He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it." 
~ Turkish proverb

I have recently been reminded of grief in the lives of those around me.  Grief always centers on a loss which one perceives as significant, though not always a human relationship.  In addition to losing a loved one, we can grieve the loss of a job; a pet; health; our dreams, and even our very faith.

When our youngest daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes a few years ago, I entered into the process of grieving the relatively easy life we had known previously, as well as the expectation for her pain-free and healthy future.  Suddenly a new level of stress descended upon us as her parents, and it has remained our constant companion.  

She has gone through her own period of deep grief, mourning "the good old days" before finger pricks, needle pokes, diligently monitoring carb intake and food ingredients, missing out on the cake & candy at class parties if her sugars are too high, and having to constantly carry a bulky pack around with all of her supplies.  It is a frustrating, painful, terrifying, and inconvenient disease.  And so we mourn.

My husband went through his own grief when he realized that his career dreams were not going to reach fruition, even though he had tried his hardest to make them reality.  He was crushed, and remained entrenched in his grief for a number of years.   The loss of dreams can be doubly hard, because they are not as tangible as the loss of people.

According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, there are 5 STAGES OF GRIEF.  These include:  
1.  Denial and Isolation.   "This is NOT happening. I will not acknowledge it and it will go away."
2.  Anger.  "UNFAIR!  I do not deserve this *&%$ to be happening."
3.  Bargaining.  "Okay, God.  If you stop this from happening, I promise to become a nun."
4.  Depression.  "Life is not worth living since this has happened."
5.  Acceptance  "This has happened.  It stinks, but life goes on.  What's for dinner?"

It would be great to  just cruise through all of these stages in a "reasonable" amount of time, and have our grief thoroughly and quickly dealt with.  However, we get stuck in some stages, and even bounce back and forth between them, adding to the confusion:  "I thought I dealt with this already!"  Welcome to life in the real world.  If you haven't encountered grief yet, you will.  It is a necessary part of the human condition, and can be absolutely transformational if we walk through it completely and with openness to the rich lessons that can result. 

My beliefs about suffering and loss revolve around spiritual growth.  I believe that we choose our life lessons prior to our birth, as well as the length of time we will be here.  When the lessons have been learned and our time here has been spent, we return to Spirit (God), which is our true home.   I believe that we not only choose those with whom we have intimate contact on earth, but that we also likely know them in spirit, as well.  Sometimes our irritating, upsetting relational issues here are exactly what is needed in order for us to burn up previous karma .  I do not have all of the answers, I am just sharing what makes sense to me, and what has helped me to deal with my own grief.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of believing that we have to be "the best" wife, mother, father, child, friend, etc.; at least on an unconscious level.   In my own life the trap I fell into related to my spiritual identity.  I was going to be The Best Christian Ever.  No one would live their life more consciously than me, basing every thought, conversation, and action on the Bible.   It's like my religion was my reason for being; all else paled in comparison.  My main reason for existence was to win souls for the Kingdom of Heaven.

Trying to be "the best" eventually becomes second nature to us, and we continually try to live up to the image we perceive that others have of us.  Eventually, we find ourselves depressed and unhappy about life and unfulfilled in our dreams.  This is very significant:  When we give our power to other people, dreams, and beliefs, we have not been true to who we are.  WE CAN NEVER BE TRULY HAPPY UNTIL WE LIVE OUR OWN LIVES - not just the life that others tell us we should live.

Often we have compromised our individuality and not been true to ourselves because of the desire to please.  So when the loved one dies or the relationship is severed (or in my case, when our faith shockingly and painfully dissolves), we are left with no sense of self-esteem because so much of our identities were tied to the other.  All that is left is a sense of emptiness and loneliness. 

I am very pleased to tell you that life does go on.  The mourning may last for years, and it is painful.  When I was walking through my own grief about my loss of faith - which was far harder than any other loss I have ever experienced - I felt like I was in a tiny dinghy, out on a vast ocean with no one else around.  And I mean NO ONE.  I went from believing that Jesus was my BFF and God was always there, caring for me and loving me, to not even being certain that there IS a God, or even an afterlife.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you I felt desperate, shattered, devastated, and utterly alone.  I pulled up the covers over my head some days and wept bitter, terrified tears.  I could not discuss this with my religious friends, as it would likely only result in chastisement ("You just need more faith!").  I could not discuss it with my family because it was such a huge paradigm shift that I did not want to subject them to it, to my own terrifying fears that everything my life was based on had been untrue.  At times my grief was so overwhelming that I contemplated ending my pain permanently.  The loss was that deep.

How did I get through it?  I read everything I could find by others who had come through similar trauma  and survived.  I opened my mind and heart to any possible lessons that could be learned from my situation.  I started discussing my fears and grief with others who were loving and nonjudgmental.  I went to my doctor when I was scared of my own desperation, and sought medical help to get me through the hardest times.  I prayed, even though I wasn't sure if anyone would hear me.  And here I am, on the other side of it all.  I made it - and so will you.

*Research.  Read.  Attend lectures, seminars, or anything else that pertains to your situation.
*Surround yourself with those who love you and want only your peace & happiness.  
*Realize that FREEDOM comes with loss.  Was your time and energy totally consumed by this other person?  Now you are released - so make the most of it.  Explore your old creative passions and hobbies - things that excited you and made you happy!  
*Practice "Extreme Self Care," as my dear friend Trish advises.  Find out what makes your soul sing with joy, and do it!  This may be as simple as a bubble bath with a good book, or as grand as finally taking your dream vacation.
*Experience your feelings.  Don't deny them or pretend that it isn't so bad.  If you try to omit this important step in your grief, you prolong it.

I now have a fantastic group of spiritually open, loving, thoughtful friends.  It was hard to rebuild my life, but I did it (thank you, Facebook!).

I am grateful to Ms. Kubler-Ross and to Mr. James Van Praagh for what they have taught me about grief.

Don't give up!  There is life after loss
~Rev. Jan

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Share whatever it is you're ashamed about. You may think you can hide your shame by not talking about it, but in reality, it's your shame that's hiding you.

--Adam Appleson

Lately the issue of shame has come up with various friends and clients.  Few have been willing to actually come clean and tell me what it is that has them feeling ashamed, but I can tell it is there just the same, dragging them down into the abyss of fear.  WHAT IF SOMEONE FINDS OUT WHAT I HAVE DONE?  WHAT IF THEY SEE HOW BAD I REALLY AM? 

We have all done things we regret.  It is part of being human.  Shame, however, goes deeper than regret.  Regret says that we have learned something and will do our best to avoid those circumstances again.  But shame threatens to envelop us, to consume us altogether.  It is, in general, a devastating emotion that humans will do just about anything to avoid.  I liken shame to feeling as if one is drowning, with no hope of a life preserver.

I am here today to tell you that the condemnation and fear you feel from your shame need not hold you in its grip one more minute.  Today is the day YOU can set yourself free from shame.  It has no place in your life, I don't care what you have done.  It is a worthless emotion that has taken the lives of far too many good people.
Shame often stems from a childhood where the parents have been either rigidly moralistic, or unable to own their own wrongdoings.  These parents then project their issues onto the innocent child: YOU.  The child takes on the emotional responsibility for the parents at this point. This leads some kids to become super good and perfectionistic, while leading other kids to fight for visibility by carrying the "badness" or shame of their parents out into the open.  They feel that they are otherwise not visible to their parents, and act out in order to gain their attention.  The parents then negatively reinforce the behavior through shameful punishment or words, and the child adds more reinforced, bad behaviors to form an identity:  The Black Sheep.  

The shame that you carry does not serve you.  At one time it served someone else, someone who had authority over you, and who had not dealt with their own issues.  They no longer hold that authority, because you are now a fully grown, mature, independent being.  You are no longer a confused, scared child desperate to gain approval.  You are a loving, compassionate being who can view those former authority figures with pity.  There is no need for anger or disdain; those do not serve you, either.  Let forgiveness and compassion be your best friends and constant companions.  Forgive others, and forgive yourself.

Picture a very young child all alone on a stage.  Would you stand there and yell at a child of 3 or 4 years old, telling her she was stupid and never did anything right, and maybe even hit her a few times just to make your point?  Of course not!  If you did, that child would either end up completely docile and hurting in a corner, or tearing around like a bat out of hell destroying all they could get their little hands on.  Instead, you would tell her how much you love her; how much you care; how very bright and good and clever and sweet she is; that you love the way she does things, and that it is okay for her to make mistakes.

Each of us has that 3-year-old child within us, and we spend most of our time yelling at that poor kid.  This is why our lives don't work.  We continue acting out the script that was written for us when we had no control.  Well I am telling you that now you DO have control over your life.  Refuse to live in shame any longer.  Refuse to behave as one who is ashamed.  LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO GROW UP,  dear one.  Take responsibility and own what is truly yours - and let the rest go.  Forgiveness is the path.

"We are all here to transcend our early limitations, whatever they were.  We're here to recognize our own magnificence and divinity no matter what they told us."  ~ Louise Hay

Spiritual Mind Treatment:
God is LOVE. I am a child of the infinite source, and my consciousness soars. I am a blessing unfolding. I am free from all shame and judgment; I willingly release the past, and live my life in right action.  God is at work in my life. My life is balanced and healthy, and I am grateful.  I turn it over to the infinite law, which is even now unfolding.  I let it be, and so it is.

*Thank you to my beloved Louise Hay for her beautiful insights, and also to Andrea Mathews, L.P.C.

Monday, January 9, 2012

The VERY BEST Advice

Namaste, fellow Soul Pilgrims!
Here we are in 2012, hard as it is to believe.  Regardless of the hype about this year and the Mayan calendar, I trust you are filled with hope and anticipation about the vast potential that the new year holds for each of us!  I know I am.  Let this be your year!

I recently started practicing healing massage as an addition to my Soul Pilgrim Services, and it has been absolutely wonderful!  I just love laying my hands on people with the goal of of helping them to relax and de-stress, as well as being a channel for Universal love, the most healing factor of all!  In addition to adding massage to my list of skills and income generators, I hope this year to also start speaking at various retreats, particularly on the issue of Life Transitions.  This is a passion of mine, helping people to see that transitions are a fantastic gateway to living the life we really want, rather than simply something to be endured.  

On this topic, the very best advice I ever received came from one of my older siblings.  On the occasion of my 40th birthday, my brother sent me a brief, but incredibly important message.  It said:  
"Your life is now officially getting shorter!  Do what makes you happy."

Take a minute to digest that.  I felt simultaneously slapped in the face and given my freedom all at the same time (sounds like a sibling dynamic to me).  I don't know why it hit me so hard; perhaps because it was on a birthday that had a 0 at the end.  Those ones are great for making us take a good look at where we are, where we've been, and where we want to go.  I was definitely ripe for his sage words.  

Not exactly the words one longs to hear, especially when hitting the Big 4-0 (which, in Roman numerals, is XL.  How ironic is that?!).  But I would rather have the truth hurt me than be comforted by a lie any day of the week! Those words were a tremendous gift to me:  A timely reminder that my days in this body will one day draw to a close.  Will I have truly LIVED them out, or merely existed?  Wake up and live every day that you have left!

Thank you, thank you, my wonderful Big Brother!  Thank you for affirming me and setting me free.  These words were a beautiful gift to me.  And I took them to heart, believe me.  I now do what makes me happy, without regard for what others think.  Case in point:  Tonight you will find me in my living room, having fun with my hula hoop!  Sporting dreadlocks and my old PJs!  In no makeup!  Why?  Because it makes me happy.   Life gets serious very quickly.  Seize those giggles and blissful sighs whenever you can!  Need further proof that I don't care what nay-sayers may think?  Next week I am taking my daughter out to a belly dance class!  Because it makes me happy.  

Do you get it?  Life is getting SHORTER.  Do what you want, when you want.  Do not waste your time - the most precious gift of all - being a martyr, or living a life that makes you miserable.  Your happiness is up to you!  

What would make you happy?  A career change?  A different relationship?  An improved relationship? Changing your appearance?  Increasing your bank account?  While these things may not be able to happen over night, you can take your first step TODAY towards living out that happiness.  Your life is an absolute gift to you.  Do not squander it.  Make it truly your own.  Don't wait for anyone else to give you permission - just do what makes you happy.  Today.

I recognize the infinite creative, intelligent, loving Force that permeates all.  I acknowledge that I am a part of this Universal Energy.  I realize that my every desire is available to me, and that the Universe conspires in my favor constantly to manifest those desires! I acknowledge that it is up to me to walk through the doors which are opened unto me daily.  I give thanks for the awakening I have received today, and receive with gratitude the opportunity to fully live my own life.   I release these powerful words into the Law of Mind, knowing that it is already so.  And so it is.  

Wishing you your own revelations about happiness,
Rev. Jan.